


the best bad idea

by badskeletonpuns



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Conflict of Interests, F/M, Fake Name Negotiations, In A Really Hot Way, Kissing, Multi, Polyamory, Sleeping Together, Unprofessional Behavior, jupetersha, that's a thing now, what even ship name
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-09-09 16:08:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8898694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badskeletonpuns/pseuds/badskeletonpuns
Summary: Sasha was assigned a most difficult case on Mars by Dark Matters - and what do you know, she just happens to have some friends there. And one of her friends is Juno Steel, someone who is real handy on a tough case. Juno Steel, though, comes with "Rex Glass", the former (fake) Dark Matters agent who apparently is now together with Juno Steel. They solve the case, sure. They're all very smart (very pretty) people.But see, Juno and Sasha always did tend to have similar taste in partners.And they were always so good at sharing.This is going to be an HR disaster, Sasha can already tell. (This is my Penumbra Podcast Pexchange gift for harpers_mirror! Happy Holidays, have some poly shenanigans!)





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [harpers_mirror (SapphireBryony)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SapphireBryony/gifts).



Sasha Wire woke up in a hotel bed somewhere offplanet. The room was chilly but she was almost too warm, sandwiched between a wanted thief and a private eye with a taste for trouble.

Not that she could say anything more flattering about herself. 

She was one of Dark Matters’ top agents, and had until now prided herself on her professionalism when interacting with informants not of their agency. And now here she was, more unclothed than clothed, with one of her best friends snoring into her shoulder and his boyfriend curled up against her other side. It was the definition of unprofessional, especially when the three of them had been working a case together. 

Sasha sighed. What was done was done, and now she had to deal with the consequences. Speaking of those consequences… Juno mumbled something into her shoulder, and when she glanced over his face was tight and unhappy. 

She shouldn't touch him. She should unwind herself from Juno and the man she still only knew as Glass, find her clothes, and get back to work. The two of them would be fine. 

They would be fine, Sasha told herself again, but still she reached out and ran her fingers through Juno’s hair. Her hand fell to cup his face, her thumb gently rubbing that spot just under his eye that had ached when it got cold ever since he broke his nose when they were kids. 

He turned his face into her touch, and Sasha absolutely failed to make her heart not break a little, watching him. 

She should have visited him more often. 

Excellent Dark Matters agent she definitely was, but she also liked to think of herself as a good friend to those few who held that title. 

When Juno looked so tired, though, she had a hard time believing that of herself. His eyes were pinched tight shut, dark circles and wan shadows defining his face. Without his eyepatch and both eyes closed, he looked so much younger. Sasha was reminded of when her, Juno, and Mick used to sneak out sometimes at night, trying to find the safest rooftop to lie on and stay up for as long as possible. Juno was always the first to fall asleep. 

They had had to stop when a sandstorm that hadn’t been forecasted nearly killed all three of them. 

On her other side, Rex Glass lay curled so tightly he was almost doubled over. His head was pillowed on Sasha’s shoulder, one arm pulled against his chest and the other thrown over her stomach (the tips of his fingers just brushing Juno’s arm), his legs intertwined with hers. Say what she could about the man, he was most definitely not shy with his affections. 

Rex shifted in his sleep, rubbing his face against her shoulder. His face was stubbled, she noted, the friction of it stinging faintly. 

He opened his eyes, and they were large and dark and for a moment almost predatory, and then he yawned and he was nothing but adorable. Even if his teeth were sharper than they should have been. 

“Good morning, Sasha,” he murmured, and when he smiled,  _ oh, _ there was that predator again, sharp and dangerous. And if Sasha was honest, more than a little bit sexy. 

“Rex,” she said in return, and smirked just as dangerously back at him. “Juno’s not awake yet, in case you couldn’t tell by the lack of him trying to get up and go to work.” 

He shook his head. “What even is there to work on? We solved the case, didn’t we?” 

Sasha shrugged, careful to avoid disturbing Juno. She had some things she wanted to say to Rex before the detective woke up. Things, perhaps, not exactly suitable for a lady’s ears when they were about his significant other. 

“There’s always work to do,” she said, keeping her tone light. “For instance, I am supposed to be on the lookout for a man only known as Rex Glass, who faked his papers and lied his way into Dark Matters. But… I don’t see anyone named Rex Glass here, do I.” Her voice was steady, and she stared with an intensity that had caused more than one intern to quit, now entirely focused down at the man whose body still lay aligned with hers. 

He was tenser now, the stress not obvious in his face - he was too good an actor for that - but Sasha could feel it. It lay in the stillness of his limbs and the way he pulled the arm not thrown over her and Juno closer to himself, closing off. “Of course,” he agreed, still smooth as butter fresh from Earth. “Duke Rose, at your service.” 

Sasha didn’t say a word. 

The motel room wasn’t silent, though, this city wasn’t polite enough for that. In the lack of communication between Sasha and not-Rex, there lay a thousand more conversations in potentia. Someone was shouting in an adjacent room, whether in pain or pleasure Sasha couldn’t tell and didn’t care. Their window was closed, but the cheap plastic of it let in the rumble of cars outside, the pop-sizzle of a food cart, and soft whistle of sim-wind blending into the atmosphere of whatever planet they were on. 

Venus, maybe, if the way the air hung heavy in the motel room said anything to it.

Or that could just be the tension hanging around the three of them. Either way. 

The man whose name was not Rex or Duke sighed, turning away from both Sasha and Juno. “Is it really that important, Sasha?” he asked, but they both already knew the answer.

“Juno knows.” Sasha said. Before Rex could respond, she was speaking again, unwilling to directly ask him to come back to bed, to lie next to her again, but trying to say it anyway. “I know I’m not Juno. But I’m not your enemy, either.” 

He looked back, and there was nothing at all predatory in his eyes, but they were still dark as the void just beyond the atmosphere. “You don’t want to know, love, trust me.” 

Sasha laughed, almost forgetting to try and keep it quiet to not wake Juno. “You think whoever you are could shock me? I work for  _ Dark Matters _ , they resurrected my memory of my dead sister in the form of a murderous android so they could test me for a management position. Whoever you are can’t shock me.” 

At her side, Juno was muttering something again, eyes closed too tightly and tension too obvious in his incoherent words. Sasha shot the man lying on the edge of the bed a murderous look, then turned away from him to run her hand through Juno’s hair again, gently petting his head till he relaxed a little.

When she turned back, not-Rex was looking at both of them, something like heartbreak in the set of his lips and the arc of his neck. 

“You love him,” she said, a statement that brooked no refusal. 

“So do you,” he replied.

Juno shifted again, and she reached out almost automatically to comfort him when she realized his eyes were open. He was raising his eyebrows, giving both Sasha and not-Rex his most judgmental look. 

“You’re both idiots,” he grumbled. “Sash, he isn’t going to shoot us in our sleep just because he won’t tell you his name, and  _ Rex _ , I trust Sasha and you probably more than I trust the rest of humanity combined. She won’t judge you or sell you out to her lawful evil bosses.”

The two of them were totally still for a suspended moment, until not-Rex broke it by laughing. His laugh was not half as graceful as the rest of him, not practiced or musical like the times she’d heard him laugh on the case. He was snorting and sputtering, and it was infectious. Sasha started laughing along, because Juno looked so grumpy but for once he didn’t look tired and he’d just chewed the both of them out like he wasn’t Mars’ resident expert in making feelings more complicated than they needed to be. 

“You’re both ridiculous,” Juno said, tone probably less grouchy and more affectionate than he’d really meant it to be.” 

“Only for you, darling,” not-Rex cooed, and he leaned across Sasha to kiss Juno on the mouth. Juno melted into the kiss, and Sasha couldn’t help but smile at the sight of them. 

Then not-Rex turned to her, every inch the confident predator, but she attacked before he could with a hand on the back of his neck and the other buried in his hair to pull him into a deep kiss. When they separated, it was just far enough for him to press a much lighter kiss to the side of her mouth and whisper that if she was going to be shouting any name other than Juno’s in the next while, it had better be Peter Nureyev. 

Sasha pulled him down into another kiss, lips hot and teeth sharp and she knew she’d have to lie about everything that had happened and was about to happen when she made her post-case report. 

This was probably what H.R. referred to as a ‘conflict of interest’. 

It’s not like she ever listened to H.R. in the first place, she thought, and forgot all about H.R. in favor of remembering the sounds Juno had made when Sasha and Peter both had their lips on his neck last night. 

They could definitely arrange a repeat of that scenario, she was certain.

And once they were done here, she could run a thorough background check on this Peter Nureyev - get answers to those questions she hadn’t had time to ask. After all, Nureyev had undoubtedly done the same to her long before he decided to become Dark Matters Agent, Rex Glass. But all in good time, Sasha told herself, and let her thoughts fall from her head and her head fall back, Peter Nureyev’s teeth biting into her bottom lip and Juno warm and solid at her side. 

All in good time. 

**Author's Note:**

> happy holidays!!!! :D :D :D :D :D i hope you liked it, i wanted to try something new for my gift and i knew that you liked poly ships, jupeter, and sasha wire, and i thought, "i know exactly what to do with this!"


End file.
